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Category: Kvetching

  • Getting more hours, but the climb up is slow and grueling.

    Things are slowly getting better, much emphasis on the word slowly. I’m a month in to a new job that is going through training and expanding my responsibilities, paying minimum, and it’s hard. (Note: I’m not complaining about the pay. It is just frustrating for someone who has already put 25 years into the workforce to have to start back at minimum wage.)

    The first two weeks of work have resulted in me being able to cover a few bills, but not everything – yet. Since that first paycheck I’ve been able to build some spreadsheets to make projections, and it will work out eventually, but very slowly, assuming no further disasters. But assuming no disasters takes out the most fundamental factor of our society today: we are our own predators, and the ethical constraints that keep predators from feeding on the weak have dwindled already, and are continuing to dwindle.

    Based on this experience, so far, I can definitely understand now why “entrepreneurs” feel entitled to any and all “successes” they achieve after starting “from scratch”. You look back at this process and you fear having to go through it again. It took so much out of you the last time, you don’t know if you could make it again.

    Or, to put it another way, since you survived the minefield of difficulties that is rebuilding yourself, somehow you’ve earned your way forever, and no one should be able to take that away, ever, so don’t (tax me/take my benefits/take my services/take my freedoms/insert your own thing here.) “I survived climbing back up, so I deserve every single penny I got while climbing back up, and every penny made after that, forever and ever.”

    The obstacles to being able to get back up on your feet: paying for housing and food and whatever services you need to remain “suitable” for larger society – be it bathing, laundry, deodorants, haircuts, power for alarm clocks, internet for job searches, et cetera. This is the “motivation to improve yourself” or “motivation to become a contributor to society and not just be a leech”.

    And aid that ‘s provided doesn’t cover all that. But they’re all necessities to pursuing and achieving employment.

    There is this fear of providing for that survival/covering necessities while someone tries to get a livable paycheck, if it’s provided, people will lose motivation to try at all. They’ll be able to afford to survive and do just that – just survive.

    And, honestly, some do. Some try and fail and try and fail again, and after failing a few more times they just can’t get back up. Because jobs get posted and you don’t hear back for a month. Because you get disqualified because “you don’t have the experience” or “you’re overqualified” or “we’re going to keep your resume for a better fit.” And the system is always changing, every five years a good deal of the corporate speak changes, new memes replace older memes, processes change, so you keep up or you die. Add to this those at the top are always trying to improve profits by removing expenditures – usually employees – so they want AI, they want automation, they want to limit hiring.

    So some take to scams or crimes. Because if you can make a whole lotta money quickly, wouldn’t you try? If you can get the money to pay the bills quickly and let you play? Wouldn’t you? Well?

    And, yet, serious talk about changing this system gets shot down by those who DID manage to claw their way to the top, or by those who got birthed by those who clawed their way to the top, because – their scams or crimes might be uncovered? They might be put back down amongst us unwashed to have to climb out again? (Note: the word “claw” can be replaced by “scam” very easily. Or replaced with “crime”.)

    It’s hardly any wonder that so many just succumb to the mind-numbing despair that repeatedly visits during this process. And it’s no wonder that those who do make it through NEVER want to go through it again.

    Well, I have to get back to it all – thanks for reading. I hope your day is going better.

    If you can, please donate. I’m still trying to make the videos and podcast-like things. And everything costs money, as always.

    Skåll!!!

  • What happened

    So, my position at my previous employer was eliminated on March 1st, 2024.

    And after working in technology for about 25 years, everything is pivoting to AI. My 20 years of doing techsupport is being subsumed into AI chatbots. My 10 years of engineering workflows based on custom needs is being subsumed into AI design.

    So I started working on becoming a podcaster, but I discovered that I have trouble performing the reading/recording to create the stuff to edit into the audio for a podcast. I re-recorded the same bit of reading some twenty times before trying to move on.

    Concurrently I’ve reactivated my online profiles on various job board sites, but they’re now run by AI and keep mismatching my skills with “Sales rep” and/or “Marketing President” and/or “Medical Service” – or the worst, a Frankenstein combination of the three examples. Add to that companies don’t want to hire remote workers that can’t do hybrid work – and I haven’t had a car since before COVID, so I can’t go into a workplace. Every response I get to online job postings either mismatches my skills or requires in-office time, sometimes in other states or time zones.

    So I pivoted to possibly doing videos of me playing games with commentary, but I don’t expect that to start earning any money anytime soon. I’m hoping recording off-the-cuff videos will help alleviate the stress and difficulty in recording the materials for the podcast.

    This is concurrent to applying to every business within walking distance of where I live. I’ve only had two interviews.

    Just a few days ago I’ve started streaming.

    It’s so stressful. I’ve been working on multiple efforts for months, and now I’m reaching the end of my rope. I’m over 40. And everyone goes on about how I just need to reinvent myself, and I’m trying.

    I keep trying to blog, but I’m just not interesting anymore. Maybe because I don’t want to just promote hot takes anymore – all the takes out there are already hot enough to cook with.

    So, yeah. That’s what’s gone on.

    And I’m trying to improve the websites.

    Hope life is treating you well, reader.

    Edit: Oh, yeah, and the ceiling collapsed in yesterday in our kitchen. We rent, so the landlord came out and handled the emergency stuff, but the A/C guy is coming out to handle the condensation from one of the lines on Friday, and then if that dries out then the drywall person will be coming out to repair the ceiling in the kitchen. Not a quick fix, and definitely stressful the entire time.

    There’s probably more I’m forgetting, but I just gotta get back to it.

    Skåll!!!

  • I Think It’s Settled Down…

    And, as I type that, I figure it’ll all just fire up again.

    But I’m going to take that chance, hoping it’s fixed now.

    I’m still working on the theme – this one is minimal, but it’s also stubborn. So, we’ll see how long I stick with this, or if I’ll swap to another one.

    Hope you’re having fun out there, reader. I am, for sure. Completely and utterly. No piles of used swear words heaped around my computer desk and chair, rustling as I roll my chair back and bang my head against the keyboard, trying to put myself into a logic I am sure exists, but science still hasn’t found a whiff of.

    Skåll!!!

  • Changing Themes

    I think the thing that gets me the most about themes is how they’ve completely broken with the “style separate from structure” function.

    Now you have HTML files that call PHP functions, you have PHP files that have inline CSS declarations, and you have JSON files that store CSS and structure information (both) in one place.

    So, reverse engineering a single theme is an exercise in using your crystal ball, changing something, and checking to see if something breaks.

    Which doesn’t work on this site just yet, because it takes an hour to reflect changes on the live site, and trying to peek out how things will look in the theme preview doesn’t actually preview the pages, it previews what it THINKS the pages will look like.

    Swearwords are abound, readers. Very abound. My apologies as things start to change, visually, as I fight through this.

    Edit: I’ve made a few more changes on the back end that should speed up updates and visibility of new posts. I really hope this works, because these attacks are jumping around, and are now limiting themselves to countries I don’t want to block.

    Edit 2: The change appears to have stopped the hammering, at least so far. Gotta keep monitoring.

    Skåll!!!